We scoured the internet to find some of the funniest fish puns and clever jokes ever.
With so many fish in the sea, it should come as no surprise that fish puns abound. Scientists have of-fish-ally identified over 34,000 different living species of fish, and they keep discovering more every year.
If you’re an enthusiast and want to share your love for fishkeeping with friends and family, there’s no better way to do it than with fish puns. Careful not to overdo it because they can get boring. The trick is to diversify your fish puns for different occasions and increase your arsenal of cute fish puns.
Here’s our compilation of some cute fish puns that don’t get any betta than this.
- Let’s make this o-fish-all (let’s make this official)
- I am very so-fish-ticated (I am very sophisticated)
- What a fish-ous rumor (What a vicious rumor)
- Fishing you all the best (Wishing you all the best)
- Best fishes on your big day (Best wishes on your big day!)
- Thank cod it’s over! (Thank god it’s over!)
- Cod I borrow this fish pun from you (Could I borrow this fish pun from you?)
- You cod do better next time (You could do better next time)
- If you can think of a better fish pun, let minnow (If you can think of a better fish pun, let me know)
- From the Make a Fish Foundation (From the Make a Wish Foundation)
- It’s trout of this world (It’s out of this world)
- Whale, whale, whale, what do we have here? (well, well, well, what do we have here?)
- I’ve got the license to krill (I’ve got the license to kill)
- I’m so angry, I could just krill somebody (I’m so angry, I could just kill somebody)
- Don’t listen to them, I think you’re fin-tastic (Don’t listen to them, I think you’re fantastic)
- Why do I need fish puns in my life? Just for the hal-i-but (hell of it)
- There’s no need to by koi about it (there’s no need to be coy about it)
- I can C-O Sole (I can see your soul)
- “I’ve got my own tank and anemone wall” (I’ve got my own tank and my own wall)
- The grayling fish aspires to grow up to be an arc-tic (architect)
- My mom wanted me to be a surgeonfish but I wanted to be a Palette (Palette surgeonfish)
- Man there’s a lot of fish in the tank, it’s like o-vermillion (vermillion rockfish)
- Are you guys going to lock us in here forever? I don’t know how I-wolf-eel about that (I don’t know how I will feel about that)
- My boss really schooled me at work
- The judge found this website gill-ty of overwritten fish jokes!
- This website provides you with a great opport-tuna-ty for fish guides
- Gill-ty as charged
- I am hooked to these fish puns
- These fish puns are starting to get a-trout-cious now!
- There is a time and a plaice for jokes
- These fish puns are dolfphinitely getting out of hand
- Any fin is possible, just don’t trout anyone!
- You’re in charge of your own school, never leave it to salmon else.
- No one can do this Betta than me
- The fishing store closed down because their net profit wasn’t high enough
- These fish puns are a pile of carp!
- We are generating a-trout-cious fish puns at scale!
- Life as a fish can be overwhelming
- Salmon, call a doctor!
- Oh for cod’s hake, not another fish pun
- You don’t have to be a brain sturgeon to get into fishkeeping
- Now that’s a load of pollocks!
- I’ve been herring a lot of good things about the fish puns on this site
- Cod these fish puns are eely bad!
- You can bait these fish puns won’t go on much longer
- I am your nemo-sis
- I will show you my wrasse!
- Let’s all clam down now because I’m still very shell shocked
- Salmon had to say it!
- Fish puns are a big issue a-monk fishkeepers
- I have a really good eeling about this
- I like to cuttle with you (cuddle)
- I love me some cafin (caffeine)
- I am looking for my sole mate
- Now I’m off to do some sole searching
- The DJ knows how to drop that bass
- He’s my biggest nemo-sis
- Keep your friends close, but your anemonies, even closer
- Any fin is possible
- With friends like these, who needs anemonies?
- It doesn’t get betta than this!
- I’ve got a huge haddock (headache)
- Holy carp, it’s your wedding!
- I’m skating on fin ice with these fish puns
- These fish puns are very fin-teresting
- Never trout anyone, not even yourself
- Get trout of here!
- This is absolutely krill-iant!
- These fish puns are absolutely gill-iant
- Let minnow if you can complete this assignment
- I’m piranha roll (I’m on a roll or on parole)
- The angelfish looks like it came from heaven
Dating Fish Puns
- I love you from the bottom of my sole
- I’m in love with salmon else
- I will love you for a krill-ion years
- I need a gill-friend
- I’m fin love with you!
Best Fish Jokes
Q: Where do injured fish go for treatment? A: A sturgeon
Q: Why are fish easy to weigh? A: They’ve got their own scales.
Q: Why do most fish fail at school? A: Because they are always below sea level.
Q: What happened at the fight last night? Some fish were battered!
Q: What happens when you cross a gangster and a fish? A: A loan shark.
Q: Why do fishes swim in a school? A: Because they are unable to walk.
Q: What did the fish say to her boyfriend when they broke up? A: I’m getting out of this plaice!
Q: What’s the best way to make an octopus giggle? A: Give it some ten-tickles
Q: Why do some people hate sushi? A: Because it looks too fishy.
Q: Which fish species travels at over 200 mph? A: A motor pike.
Q: Why doesn’t a starfish become more responsible? A: Because salmon else is there to take the blame.
Q: Why is it such a bad idea to battle an octopus? A: Because they’re well armed.
Q: What did the fish say to fix their relationship? A: Halibut we talk over this?
Q: How do fish stay warm? A: By wearing a shoal.
Q: How do you tuna fish? A: By Adjusting their scales.
Q: Why did the fish get fired? A: Because she was being too shellfish.
Q: How do fish stay up to date about the ocean? A: They tuna in to current affairs
Q: Why are fishermen so angry all the time? A: Because their work makes them sell-fish.
Q: What is the fish’s favorite musical instrument? A: A bass drum.
Q: What do romantic fishermen want? A: A gill-friend.
Q: Do you know why fish are the smartest animals in the world? A: Because they practically live in school!
Q: Why are fish so successful? A: They make sure to seize every oppor-tuna-ty.
Q: What did one fish say to another? A: There’s no plaice like home.
Q: Why do fish companies always fail? A: They can never scale up to meet demand.
Q: Who is responsible for keeping the ocean clean? A: Mer-maids.
Q: What did the policeman say to the fish? A: I will con-fish-cate your con-tuna-band.
Q: What’s the perfect gift for a fish? A: A barbecue gill!
Q: Where do fish keep their wealth? A: In the river bank.
Q: Why are fish fond of charities? A: Because they reely feel good at findraisers.
Q: Why do fish hate war? A: Because they are paci-fish-ts.
Q: Which music should you listen to while fishing? A: Catchy music.
Q: Why do fish hesitate when it comes to romance? A: They are frightened of intima-sea.
Q: What did the fish mathematicians say? A: These numbers are in-fin-ite.
Q: Why don’t fish go hunting together? A: Because they’re sole hunters.
Q: Why can a fish never be a good journalist? A: Because they always spread hake news.
Q: Why did the musical fish sing the blues? A: It’s got no soles.
Q: Who kidnapped the Octopus for ransom? A: Squidnappers!
Q: Why did the fish bring to work? A: A B-reef-case.
Q: What is the difference between a fish and a piano? A: It’s easy to tuna piano but you cannot tuna fish.
Q: What did the starfish say when sharks invaded his party? A: The Moray the merrier!
Q: What is the baby fish’s favorite show? A: Cat-tunas
Q: What is the favorite food of the Loch Ness Monster? A: Only fish-n-ship
Q: What did the shellfish say to everyone who came to his party? A: Tank you for coming!
Q: What fish makes an offer that you can’t refuse? A: A Codfather
Q: Why did the fish blush? A: Because he saw the ocean’s bottom/
Q: Where do fish keep their money when they go out shopping? A: In their octopurse.
Q: Why don’t fish tip the waiter? A: Because they’re shell-fish.
Q: Why are some fish so shy? A: Because they’re very koi.
Q: Why did the young fish get in trouble with the teacher? A: Because he was busy on his shell phone.
Q: Why do some fish live at the bottom of the ocean? A: Because they dropped out of school.
Q: Which musician stood out most in the fish band? A: The bass-ist.
Q: How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? A: Ten-tacles
Q: Why is the seahorse able to move so swifty? A: He scallops around the tank.
Q: What is the fish’s favorite country? A: Finland.
Q: What do you call a fish that smells awful? A: A stink ray.
Q: Why did the fish quit his job as a chef? A: Because he had bigger fish to fry.
Q: What did the Tuna tell her friend when she got dumped? A: There are plenty of fish in the sea.
Q: Which part of outer space to fish prefer? A: Trouter space
Q: What do you tell a fish when he freaks out: You better clam down pal.
Q: Where do fish go to work? A: To the offish.
Q: What is the best way to make a fish laugh? A: Tell him a whale of a tale.
Q: How did the injured shellfish get to the hospital? A: In a clambulance.
Q: Who won the best employee award at the balloon factory? A: The blowfish.
Q: Why is the chef at the busy restaurant so stressed out? A: Because he has a lox on his plate.
Q: What do you get if you mix a trout with an abbot? A: A monkfish!
Q: What is the heaviest part of the fish? A: The scales.
Q: Which game do fish like to play the most? A: Name that tuna!
Q: Where do tuna go for yoga? A: The river bend.
Q: Which fish knows how to screw in a light bulb? A: An electric eel.
Q: What day of the week do fish hate the most? A: Fryday
Q: What did the fish say when it got in trouble? A: Dam.
Q: Which fish species is the most expensive? A: The goldfish.
Q: What is the term we use to describe fish in organized crime? A: Lobster.
Q: What is the fish’s favorite song? A: Never gonna give you up, never gonna let you drown and splash you.
Q: What did one fish say to another? A: Cod I borrow you for a few minutes?
Q: Why did the fish cross the road? A: To get to the other tide.
Q: What do fish need to survive? A: Vitamin Sea.
Q: Why did the fish want to star in movies? A: He wants to be a starfish!
Q: What do you call a fish that only appears at night? A: A starfish!
Q: What do you call a lazy lobster? A: A slobster.
Q: What’s the best way to catch a cursor fish? A: Click bait.
Q: What do fish do in a moment of crisis? A: They seek help.
Q: Why can’t you tell make out the size of a fish by simply looking at a picture? A: Because it’s not drawn to scale.
Q: Why did the fish call herself fat? A: Because she was fishing for compliments.
Q: How did the fish learn about the World Wide Web? A: Through a net.
Q: How did the fish buy the new car? A: He prawned everything!
Q: Why did Batman and Robin stop fishing together? A: Because Robin ate all the worms.
Q: How do fish travel on a golf park? A: On a golf carp.
Q: How do you keep a fish from smelling? A: Plug it’s nose.
Q: How did the mollusk get into university? A: On a scallop-ship!
Q: What did the lobster say when he posted bail? A: I’m off the hook!
Q: Why are fish bad at basketball? A: They are afraid of the net.
Q: Why do fish swim in the ocean? A: Because they can’t walk.
Q: What did the lobster say to the crayfish? A: Who you calling a shrimp?
Q: What happens to the shark who accidentally ate keys? A: He got a bad case of lockjaw!
Q: Where do fish go to take a bath? A: In the river basin.
Q: What do you get if you cross a crab with a math teacher? A: Snappy answers.
Q: How do fish grow their business? A: They start on a small scale.
Q: What do you get when you cross an octopus with a mink? A: Coat of arms.
Q: Which fish can give you nose surgery? A: A plastic sturgeon!
Q: What is the most famous social network for fish? A: Fishbook.
Q: Why are fish good at coding? A: Because they know how to trawl through lots of data.
Here are Some Funny Fish Names
If you are particularly fond of your fish, it’s time you gave it a name. It makes sense to pick a longer name and become creative. Some owners give their fish first, last, and even middle names. Whatever you pick, make sure it falls in line with your fish’s compatibility and makes you feel happy.
Funny names for a pair of fish
- Phineas and Ferb
- Rocket and Man
- Oopsy and Daisy
- Tic and tac
- Ebb and flow
- Bonnie and Clyde
- Splish and splash
- Aqua and Fina
- Sea and Weed
- High Tide and Low Tide
Funniest Single Fish Names
- Genghis Karp
- Phish Styx
- Salmon and Gillfunkel
- Gill Clinton
- Happy Gillmore
- Bubble Fett
- Tarter Sauce
- Swim Shady
- Tuna Turner
- Marlin Monroe
- Alpha Betta
- Nat Kingfish Cod
- Mr. Fish
- Golden Hawn
- Tiny Fin
- Fish Fieri
We’ve of-fish-ally run out of fish puns and jokes. If you’ve got your own fish jokes and puns